So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize