Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
