so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
