i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
