Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
