Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
