I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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