I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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