does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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