Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
