The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
