i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize