Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just high enough for therapy.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
