lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
