i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
last night I used snow as a chaser
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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