I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
