After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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