I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
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