tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
