I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
try to milk me bitch
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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