so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
