that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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