I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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