I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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