The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
