She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
