1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
