I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
