He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
