The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
