you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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