Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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