Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
