some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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