nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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