i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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