i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize