It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
