This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
