so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
