the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
