guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
