I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I stole a fireplace last night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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