do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
