Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
