He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
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It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
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Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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