non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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