real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
