im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize