whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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