So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
