i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I believe in your delicious
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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