Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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