How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
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God gave him joint rollers for hands
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
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Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize