Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
