Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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