Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I will pee on everything he values.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
