she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think my vagina is haunted
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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