A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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