morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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