We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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