Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
