U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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