none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home