Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
