I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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