i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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