He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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